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Holidays After Child Loss

Holidays bring our losses to the surface, magnify our emotions and all the things going on inside us. We're assaulted commercially with all things holiday, it’s in every store, on TV, in ads, it’s everywhere. We know it’s coming. How do we handle this?

 

First, know that it's okay to hurt and give yourself permission to do so.  

 

Awareness is key! Acknowledge that the holidays will look different then what we pictured or are used to and most likely will bring a layer of challenge. Grief takes a phenomenal amount of energy. Understanding your capacity will help avoid breakdown. 

 

Planning ahead and communicating with your people in advance, making sure everyone understands your boundaries and perhaps the need to change or avoid traditions and plans can greatly reduce the likelihood of having to do damage control.   Remember, not everyone will be grieving the same way you are grieving and that the way others will want to spend the...

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Grateful. Thankful.

I'm heartbroken she is not here, but thankful she chose us.

 

Thanksgiving has always been a time to reflect for me - the highs and lows, the learning lessons, gains and losses, to spend time with family, talk about the things we are grateful for, some football, give back, and food lots and lots of food.

 

Since Ari's death, it has been different. As much as I tried to keep it similar for our living son, it is still different. I have figured out ways, supports, tools to come to terms with the grief storm that is bound to happen around the heightened emotional holidays.


But, just because it is different doesn't mean it has to be bad. I truly am heartbroken that Ari is not here with us, but I cannot express the gratitude I have that she chose me - chose us.

 

I'm grateful that we were able to meet her, spend 9 hours and 51 minutes with her, bathe her, read to her, kiss her beautiful face and lips, smell her baby scent, hold her precious hands, pray over her and get her...

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