Holding those tiny fingers. I was so at peace at this moment.
A peace that took some hard work to find once again after Ari died.
Some THINGS don't get better, but I believe WE do.
Do you agree?
My before Ari life -- I was in a constant battle with myself. I wasn't at peace.
I wasn't good enough.
I sought approval from all of these superficial and external sources, what I felt I needed to tell me that I was enough.
My after Ari life -- I knew to my core that something needed to change. To honor her life, I needed to start honoring mine.
I thought back to this moment.
I remembered what it felt like to have my whole family together.
And at peace.
And I wanted that feeling back. And I have a feeling you do too. So I made a choice to work on me WITH my grief. To find my true self, no matter how hard it was and still is. Know without a doubt that you are enough.
And you are so incredibly worthy, too!
I work extremely hard and coach my clients, too, to cultivate the feelings that we WANT to feel and seek moments in which we can produce these feelings. And to trust and know you are always enough.
This doesn't mean the learning, growing, seeking, and searching to be better is done. Not even close. Nor does it mean that feelings of guilt, shame, or any of those feelings have left for good. But what we choose to do when they do show up can be different. To choose to see them as stories and lies. Something that does not define us. And to remember this truth. And then I feel at peace.
This has helped me so much on my grief journey and I have now taught many bereaved parents to do the same. To take inspired action, employ the tools, and supports they need. I invested in myself personally to find healing -- mind, body, and spirit -- and now many bereaved parents are doing the same. All to honor their life, which in turn honors their child.
I believe you are trying your best! And you can know that this is certainly enough and to be at peace with this.
Some THINGS don't get better, but WE do.
But it is all a choice.
P.S. >>> It is a privilege to hear about your child, your journey -- the struggles and the #griefwins (we really celebrate #griefwins in the 4:13 Method).
I would be honored to hear your story. Share by sending me an email and I will personally respond. My life is better because I have the honor to get to know you, to grow in this journey together!