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How often are you doing this?

Uncategorized Mar 18, 2021

The definition of reflection is "to think deeply or carefully about".


 What we spend time thinking about is paramount.


Our thoughts shape our attitudes and eventually our actions.


After the death of a child, it is extremely hard NOT to reflect on the experiences we will miss out on, the life events we will never get to witness. 


It is difficult to think deeply or carefully about anything but what 'should have been".


But this is where guidance and support to understand that it is normal to think about the opportunities and life events that unfortunately will not be, but to not stop there.


Letting ourselves feel the bundle of emotions that arise with each thought, but then the importance of letting it go.


This in no way means we are forgetting about our child.


And we never will.


I think of Ari every single day, multiple times a day. I think of her strength to survive as long as she did. I think of her courage and bravery to make it home. I think of the peace she allowed me to feel in the brief time she was here. I think of the completeness she brought our family. I think of the perfect love she gave and also received. I think of her purpose to change our lives.


She is ours and we are hers.

And I know you think of your child all of the time, too!


There is a healthy way of processing our thoughts and feelings to create an attitude of growth. However, if we become unaware, we can get stuck in a detrimental pattern of self-sabotaging all the good that truly is possible in this life.


Try reflecting on the truths, the present. 


Think of all which you currently have in your life instead of what you do or will not have due to the death of your child.  Sure, we will go there and it is 100% valid. But notice how you feel and for how long you feel this way when you sit in this space too long. 

I encourage you to try the following exercise, one which my own coach had me do several times until it became something innate.


  1. Write a list of all you DO have in your life on a blank sheet of paper until you run out of space.


  1. Hang it up somewhere in view or make copies and place it in several places.


  1. Reflect on all of these things.


  1. Reflect on the power you carry within with a grateful heart and draw on the energy you are in control of to align yourself with the feelings you want to feel and the life you know is still possible for you.


Think deeply or carefully about.


What we spend time thinking about is paramount.

Our thoughts shape our attitudes, and eventually our actions.


No, none of this replaces your child, but instead it can be a source to live out your life in the best way possible to honor their life, their legacy, all by honoring yours.


Let me know how it goes...



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