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Grief Shaming - It's a thing

Uncategorized Mar 21, 2021

I will never hide my grief for I will never hide my love.⁣
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Grief is a gift.⁣
Grief is your connection.⁣
Grief is a reclaiming of your love.⁣
⁣⁣⁣
But when someone grief shames you, it feels as if a part of your body is physically cut off. ⁣⁣

Have you ever felt invalidated? 

Invisible?⁣
⁣⁣

"Shouldn't you be past this by now?"

"Hasn't it been (insert time) already?"⁣

"At least..."
⁣⁣

We question ourselves. ⁣Of course.⁣ Who wouldn't?⁣
⁣⁣

"Am I not doing this right?⁣"

"Should I be further along?⁣"

"Is there something wrong with me?⁣"


⁣Truth? There is something wrong.⁣  ⁣But I don't blame one side or the other. ⁣No pointing fingers.⁣ No blame game. ⁣


⁣When we look at both 'sides' we share a few commonalities.⁣⁣


1. No one is schooled in grief. Now there is common sense, but often our own insecurities and discomfort trumps or blocks that awareness.⁣


2. Feelings of pressure to hold it together or fear of saying or doing the wrong thing prevent us from speaking our needs, what we truly want. ⁣


3. The feeling of powerlessness is there. Either not sure how to move forward or how to offer support. ⁣

The solution??? Open, honest, raw, real, and direct communication with whomever it is that grief shames you (and most likely it is so unintentional). ⁣


No matter how hard, it can be beautiful. ⁣And you will feel better after you talk about the impact of their words. ⁣
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⁣⁣
Yes, grief shaming hurts.⁣ But we don't want to walk around kicking people out of our lives either.⁣  Acknowledge the grief exists.  There is an uncomfortable or foreign energy present. It is hard for you the griever, and it is uncomfortable for your supporter. ⁣


What is your grieving style? ⁣
What is their supporting style?⁣


Then choose to work through as through is the only way.

And choose to do so with curiosity, led with love.

I will never hide my grief for I will never ever hide my love.⁣

 

Don't hide your grief.
Share your grief just as you share your love.

 

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