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Grateful. Thankful.

I'm heartbroken she is not here, but thankful she chose us.

 

Thanksgiving has always been a time to reflect for me - the highs and lows, the learning lessons, gains and losses, to spend time with family, talk about the things we are grateful for, some football, give back, and food lots and lots of food.

 

Since Ari's death, it has been different. As much as I tried to keep it similar for our living son, it is still different. I have figured out ways, supports, tools to come to terms with the grief storm that is bound to happen around the heightened emotional holidays.


But, just because it is different doesn't mean it has to be bad. I truly am heartbroken that Ari is not here with us, but I cannot express the gratitude I have that she chose me - chose us.

 

I'm grateful that we were able to meet her, spend 9 hours and 51 minutes with her, bathe her, read to her, kiss her beautiful face and lips, smell her baby scent, hold her precious hands, pray over her and get her to our family home.

 

I'm happy all she knew was love.

 

I'm heartbroken she couldn't stay, but have slowly picked up the pieces and put them together in a way that has changed me for the better and for this I am thankful.

 

Most of all I'm thankful she chose us.

 

So, as we move into the holidays I have learned to be gentle with my heart and expand my heart to hold it all!

 

Having a grateful, thankful heart after infant loss can be difficult. Finding the right tools, resources and supports for you can be a life-saver and truly help! Finding it difficult this season?  I would love to connect and see how I can help. 

 

 

 

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