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Give these 3 steps a try

Uncategorized Apr 15, 2021

How does anyone find some sort of life after loss?  Learn to live with grief?


You might be thinking, good for those who can, but healing is not possible for me.


My story is different.

My pain is greater.

They are just stronger than me.

I don’t have any support.

Nobody understands me.

I am just too broken, there’s no changing that.

I am just meant to live this way for the rest of my life.


These are the very thoughts, judgements, and self-sabotaging actions that keep many grieving parents stuck. Thinking that nothing can change for you turns into believing nothing can change for you, stuck in the endless cycle of pain and sadness.


Even though these emotions feel like they are just a part of you now, I promise, they don’t have to be.


They do not have to stay. This is how we suffer in grief rather than live with our grief.


I want to share a 3 step 'method ' I use to help work through and process my pain and grief, a method that has helped the 4:13 Method members, too.


1. Awareness -  Slow down, pause more often to notice the thoughts and emotions that you are cycling through, 90% of which are on autopilot. Give yourself the gift of pausing,  leading with love instead of judgement, and just get really curious about your triggers, emotions, and thoughts. Once you build your awareness, you have the power to choose differently, choose again, especially if something does not feel right, if it is no longer serving you. You decide on purpose what you DO want to think or feel and respond vs. react.


2. Release - Begin to loosen your grip on things that might have at one point felt right or comfortable, but are no longer serving you well.  Releasing is never forced, but a place to begin exploring what WILL serve you better and allow yourself to let go (when you're ready) of what is not.  Make room within for more of what WILL -- love, rememberance, connection, happiness, etc.


3. Invite - After releasing, welcome in what you want to feel, do what eill give you thise feelings.  Love yourself so that you can love others well.  Care for yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Take the time to fill your cup, which is so often beyond empty in grief. So often we think we will take care of ourselves and our grief when life slows down and we are not so busy.  You just might be waiting for the rest of your life. When will your life slow down unless you decide to make the time right now?


There is no better time than the present to begin caring for yourself and your grief. This will not go away, no matter how much you want to pretend it’s not there, or you are doing better. If you have not processed, or walked through the muck of your grief, it will always be there waiting for you.


Likewise, if you are stuck in the muck, you do not have to stay there. There is a way forward, and a way to still have a beautiful life. Your story is not over, {{first_name}}, just like my story is not over, and all of the beautiful human souls I have had the honor of working with- their story is not over.


If you want to take one small step forward in your life, and learn to care for your grief, reply "forward" to this email. 


I know it can be so scary to talk with someone, but I promise you, I know grief so deeply and feel I can help you walk forward.


You are not alone, and you don’t need to do this alone. One step at a time- let this small step be the first of many for you.



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